It’s time to get real friends, grab those fuzzy socks and let’s chat.  I feel pretty anxious writing this post because it feels silly.  I feel genuinely worried about people judging me but I know I owe some of you an explanation.  I’ve always been a relatively private person so the thought of sharing this stuff with everyone and anyone is scary.

I’ve been gone for awhile.  I haven’t been here on this blog and I haven’t been present with you.  I have pictures on pictures on pictures to share and I just haven’t.  I haven’t had the motivation to share and I’ve just felt blah about this whole business.  I’ve contemplated taking a break from taking on new clients, I’ve contemplated finishing out the year and then starting to shut it down. I’ve been down and out about photography lately and I haven’t been able to find my footing again.

Now you’re wondering – why?  Well… here it is, judge me if you must but, I had my first real hater.  This person only saw me and my value as a commodity.  With unkind words and a lack of appreciation it really crushed my spirit and made photography something I couldn’t get excited about.  This experience broke my confidence and has made me really question why I want to do this and why I’m here.  Why am I adding this onto my plate?  Is this something I really want?  Am I actually succeeding at this or am I just a poser?  This experience has made me retreat and lose a lot of my drive.  In one fell swoop the hater slashed a hole into my cup and drained me.

It’s taken me awhile to get back into this and realize that the hater is wrong.  She didn’t know any better than how she was treating me and I can see that I shouldn’t let this bring me down.  This experience has given me a new vision.  Rather than focusing on her I need to look at all the other amazing people that I work with who love the work and genuinely appreciate the experience.  It’s been refreshing that this spring has brought a surge of new people trusting me to do this work for them.  Their appreciation and excitement has me looking forward and instead of questioning myself I’m feeling more and more confident that this is right.  I’m looking at my work and realizing that I do love making beautiful images for people.  I can do this.

Friends – sometimes, when nobody else believes in you, you have to believe in yourself and bring your own sparkle.  More so however, I realize now that there are a lot of people who see the sparkle in us.  I felt alone and doubtful this past winter but now I’m seeing that I should have kept my mind focused on the people that see me for who I am and appreciate me for what I bring to the table, my sparkle if you will.  Their goodness and positivity pouring onto me should outshine the haters or a handful of bad days.   The past few months it didn’t and it should, and it’s going to.

So for all of you who take the time to read this, and really care, thanks for pouring sparkle into my cup. 🙂  You really make it worth it when I see you coming back post after post.  I’m sorry I forgot about you.  I’ll try to remember this in the future because you make this worth it.  You’re my tribe and I really appreciate you.  You make me realize I’m not a poser.  You make want to keep going.

To those of you who have haters in your life right now – it sucks and I’m sorry.  Don’t let them slash your cup though and drain you.  Don’t let them steal your sparkle.  You are more than what they see of you.  Believe that and see it in others and your sparkle will start to outshine all the haters.

For now, I’m just going to leave you with this but you should know that there is more to come.  I’ve got a lot to share!  We’re talking christmas minis, family sessions from the fall, and oh yeah did I mention I’m engaged!!?  Yeah, I told you I’ve been gone awhile.  Get ready for an overload of sparkle.