The end of 2017 had me doing a lot of reflection and in the midst of all this reflection I came across this post on the Tone It Up account and it really struck a cord with me. You see I found myself lost a lot this past year. Unsure of who I really was and where I wanted to go. It was the hardest year for me professionally and I personally didn’t feel connected to who I really was. I didn’t understand where all this came from until seeing this post and reminding myself that it was just a season. 2017 was a year of ups and downs that I needed in order to realize what was really happening, I was growing and I just didn’t realize it. While I felt like I was in a cocoon, wrapped up in self doubt, there was a ton of people in my life who were there for me and knew what I could become. I needed the hard moments of last year to make me see how far off course I had gotten from who I truly was. I didn’t feel like myself because in all honesty, I wasn’t being myself. I had lost sight of the goofy person who never cared what others thought, the girl who said yes to adventures over sitting on the couch, the girl who saw the good in everyone first and was uncomfortable bringing them down. That girl wasn’t around in 2017, but she is now.
While I questioned a lot this past year, I was consistently guided back to things that bring me joy. I prayed a lot this year, which I’m usually very private about, but I have to say that in doing so, in asking for guidance, I found that I got the answers that I desperately needed.
When I was discouraged in the classroom and decided to look for new opportunities a door swung open to a job that I LOVE. I got my sparkle back that I was losing and now am able to share my sparkle with others and help people which fills me with so much joy!
Relationships is the heart string of 2017. When I needed it the most, old friends came back into my life and reminded me of the girl I really am. I found myself closer to my sister this year when I found myself stressed and overwhelmed by wedding planning. These friendships that I had neglected for a long time are now breathing truth and new life into me. Reminding me of who I really am and helping me focus on what really matters.
I’ve also been consistently reminded of how many people are in my corner. Each time I’ve shared out something personal I’ve had hundreds of people who have been there encouraging me and reminding me how blessed I am. And of course, through everything, my relationship with Sterling has been the most constant force, having him as family is the the best part of 2017 and my future.
While 2017 may not have been a year of a ton of outward growth, it’s been a year of tons of internal reflection and appreciation. I’m ready for 2018 and I’m ready to show up and be a better person. I’m ready to reconnect with my genuine self and spend more intentional time with people I love that remind me of my focus and my heart song.
This year I’m determined to try…
- Saying YES to positivity and gratitude
- Saying YES to adventures
- Saying NO to gossip and negativity
- Saying YES to relationships that bring me joy
- Saying YES to helping others
- Saying YES to eating healthier
- Saying YES to working out consistently and getting stronger
- Saying YES to my faith and strengthening it
- Saying NO to silly spending in order to say yes to long term savings
- Saying NO to soda (this makes me sad, but it has to go)
- Saying YES to more me time
In 2018 I’m focusing on reconnecting with myself and my genuine happiness. I’m determined to put intentional energy into old friendships that I deeply cherish and lift me up. I’m excited for 2018 because I finally don’t feel as lost as I did in 2017. I don’t feel like the caterpillar who is hungry for more and I don’t feel myself hiding away my true self in the cocoon. I’m ready to be the butterfly and try new things, open my wings and show off my true self. This is my year.
One thought on “2018 – My Butterfly Year”
Absolutely beautiful, just like you, inside and out.