I think it is entirely possible that each of these blog posts is going to start with “I can’t believe my baby is _____ months old!” or even “I blinked and my baby is _____ months old!”. The reality is that I feel like I did blink and she is so much bigger and more alert and I also can’t believe it!
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It has been a whole month since our baby girl was born and it feels oddly like it was yesterday and forever ago all at the same time. It’s 9:38pm on the night before September 1st and I am forcing myself to sit down and write out this post because 1) it has been on my to do list for awhile now and 2) I know I will be so mad at myself if I don’t. So… in the full transparent parent truth, I’m sitting here with the messiest bun, spit up on on my shirt, haven’t eaten and Sterling is taking one for the team trying to put Finley back to bed as she’s upstairs crying. Now this picture may seem chaotic (and it is) but through all the chaos and tears, mess and poop, this has been the most beautiful month of my life.
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In the past few weeks, Sterling and I have once again been reminded that our privilege has held us blind to a system that is oppressive, prejudice, and racist. We keep coming back to each other asking ourselves what can we do. As we attempt to educate ourselves and address our ignorance, we talk a lot about ways that we can both be more of an ally. As we look deeply into our own responsibility as white people, we also have been evaluating our responsibility as future parents who are bringing another person of privilege into this world.
As we bring this new life into the world we know we have a strong responsibility.
A responsibility to protect this life and keep it safe and healthy but just as important, to teach our child to be a truly compassionate person. Someone who listens to people’s stories and who fights to stand up with others and what’s right. We want to raise this child to recognize injustice and not sit back as a silent bystander. Someone who stands up against bullies, whether that be an individual picking on someone in the hallway or a system designed to oppress. We as future parents know that we have to teach ourselves how to do this in our own hearts and then work every day to teach our children. Raising Baby Travis to be a person that others can lean on, trust, and talk to means being parents that demonstrate this every day as an example. By sharing this part of our baby’s journey with you, we hope to invite you in to help us and hold us accountable on this goal. They say it takes a village to raise children and we hope you’ll be a part of ours.
A year ago this month, doubt started to creep into my head. Something that seemed normal and easy for everyone else around me, was starting to not be easy for us. November had come and gone, December too, then January and February joined the mix of disappointments. Month by month I went from hopeful and excited to sad and distant. Each month I would take a test I dreaded knowing it would be no but secretly hoping I’d be wrong. Each no making me feel more and more like a failure.
I think the hardest part of walking through 12 months of NOs was that feeling of deep failure only to walk into the next month and have to try and find hope again. For me, praying kept me hopeful. I prayed and prayed and prayed that God would give us a chance. That God would give me patience and remind me that this was not on my schedule, my timeline, my control. Real talk? This sucked and was really hard. For someone like me who loves to plan and finds comfort in knowing, not having any control was disheartening. Part of me thinks God was waiting for me to stop planning, stop counting months, stop worrying and just TRUST him. Let go of the control, let go of the anxiety and fear and just give it to him. Read More »
It has been a month since I’ve posted here on this blog and I have to admit that it kind of feels longer. (yikes!) I have so much content to post but am excited to start with a summer recap (part one) of the memories from time with friends and family!Read More »
On Wednesday we did something really special. We took a day off work and met up with Sterling’s sister, brother in law, and our niece and nephew to go to the National Aquarium! Now as a Baltimore native, I love the aquarium but honestly haven’t been in years, since Sterling and I first started dating. What made it the best trip out of all of them was getting to see it for the first time through children’s eyes.Read More »
A few weekends ago my family headed down to Bethany Beach, Delaware to celebrate Easter with our 95-year-old grandfather! Yes, 95 and still going strong! He lives down in Bethany and loves having us all over! My Aunt and Uncle headed down on Thursday and then followed soon after by Sterling, me and my siblings – Lindsay, John, and Bradley! Read More »
It’s finally time to announce Mommy and Me Minis! ::HAPPY DANCE!:: This is my second year in a row doing these fun spring minis and I love it! Last year I opened up only a few slots seeing as it was my first time hosting them and they sold out within a week! I’ve already had people reaching out to get on the list for this year’s sessions! I’ve got a total of 16 slots available and I’m hoping to fill up as many as possible while in Richmond! Read More »
With all the waves of change that have happened in the last few months all I wanted to do was escape and relax. Last week I got to do exactly that and it was perfect! The beach was super calm, partly because it was an off week and partly because the weather forecast predicted rain for the entire week. While the weather looked bad, like really bad, rain every single day all day kind of bad, I knew I wanted to go despite it. Even if it rained the whole time I just wanted an excuse to get away from unpacking and read some books, go on walks and eat junky beach food like broccoli bites (which are not as healthy as they sound) as much as I’d like.
It was an added bonus when my youngest brother Bradley decided to join me! We packed up the car and headed down to the beach. It rained on and off for most of the drive but oddly enough as soon as we passed Rehoboth and pulled up on Bethany Beach the rain cleared! While the weather called for rain every day there was only one day that it rained all day and we couldn’t go to the beach. Every other day was gorgeous and maybe had a rain storm in the afternoon or evening! The sun was warm, the ocean was calm and I got to sit and do nothing but read and relax. I ate a lot of broccoli bites…. like every day for four days worth of broccoli bites. While I would do it again because…DUH, it was a little awkward when the same guy took my order at the walk up window each time… hahaha! YOIKES!
I also got to spend time with my brother and some really good friends! My friend Bobby was in town at his family’s beach condo that week and on Friday Jessie drove all the way up from Richmond to join too! It was such a treat all the way around! I came back feeling refreshed and ready to take on new things! Thank God!
This past Saturday and Sunday I had six minis and they were awesome! Six families – some I have known for years and have been taking pictures of forever and some brand new families that were a blast! Read More »